Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?

Just after I started the fourth grade, I started having really bad stomach-aches.  I was a little Wendy Worrier as as a child, so my mom thought it was because I was nervous to  start school again.  As the year went on and I became comfortable with my new surroundings, the stomach aches only got worse.  So finally my mom took me to the doctors so we could find out what was wrong. Because I had bladder issues and surgeries in the past, they decided to check my urine.  It was there they found a lot of sugar, one of the tell-tale signs of diabetes.  I didn't really know what was going on, other than my mom was real nervous and they had to draw blood (This was just to confirm the diabetes, at this point, my mom later told me, they pretty much already knew.)   

So we waited a couple hours, and I still didn't really understand what was happening, other than I might have diabetes (which meant nothing to a nine year old girl.)  I remember when my mom got the call confirming our suspicions. My dad rushed home from class (he was in school at the time) and he came into my room as I was packing for the hospital and gave me the biggest, saddest and longest hugs I have ever felt.

  

We went to the hospital not soon after and I don't really remember much except there was a lot of nurses in and out poking my finger and telling me all about the things I would have to do from now on.  I would have to take shots, and poke myself every time I ate. And I had to learn what carbohydrates were, and how to count them, and how many are in what kind of foods and keep track of everything I ate so my blood sugar wouldn't get high and that my life would still be normal and long, as long as I did all these things.  I don't remember feeling too overwhelmed by any of this, I guess I still didn't really get it.  All I knew is that I was in a hospital, feeling just fine, but I still had to stay.  The one thing I think that really clued me into how serious all this stuff was, was seeing how worried and sad and scared my parents looked. I will never forget the look my dad gave me when some ignorant person from our church brought doughnuts in for us and I asked to have one. The way he said “I don’t think so, honey,” and the horrid look on his face told me everything I needed to know. That was when I think I really realized things were going to be a lot different.

  

After coming home from the hospital, I stayed out of school for a couple days to get used to everything and adjust.  One morning my mom gave me a bowl of cereal and my dosage of insulin, and afterwards realized she had miscalculated somewhere.  She called my aunt, who is a nurse, crying and wondering how she was ever going to get it all right.    

 I still wonder that a lot.  My Diaversary was last September. 10 years, and I think I am just starting to grasp how much diabetes really has effected me and is going to always effect my life, whether I take care of it or not. 

So I have decided, Diabetes, lets be friends.  I will try to be nice to you even if you aren't all that nice to me.  I'll invite you to parties, you can be my roommate and be included and tag along with me and my friends, because you are gunna be there anyway, right?  I know you can't promise me a lot of things in return, like that my kidney's won't conk out on me too, or that I will be able keep my vision all the time, or that you won't go low at the worst of times. But could you maybe promise me, that maybe, you and your pesky ways will make me better? Stronger? Patient? More Compassionate? Self Disciplined?  I thought maybe you could help me with those things :) Because when all is said and done, I thinks that's why you started hangin around, because Somebody knew I had a few weaknesses only you could beat out of me. And someday, if you and I have cooperated and done our job, I just might be prepared when you and I have to part, and I will be able to stand before that Somebody all on my own, and be proud of what I have done with your help.

That is all. :)