The Time I "Had a Beer."

         When I was a Senior in High School, I was out late with my friends getting shakes at Shari's as was our custom. [ I really don't remember doing any thing else in High School, do you guys? You know who you are :) ]  I was driving home with all my friends in the Chevy 1500 (affectionately called Optimus Prime) my parents let me drive.

I miss that beast.

           It was probably around 11 pm and we were on the back roads, having a good time, poking each others faces as Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" (hahaha Get it?!) played on the radio.  On the S-curve I had driven at least 20 billion times, I suddenly see something coming onto the road from my right side.  I slow down just in time for it to stare at me from a couple feet away.  It was huge. It wasn't moving, just starring me down.

Actual Depiction

          So, I started to drive around it. The stupid thing all the sudden chooses to start crossing the road again, RUNNING and crashing in the the passenger side of my car (where poor Lindsey was sitting had her window rolled down!) I can still see the beast's head bouncing off my hood. The next moments were a blur of crying and screaming as I pulled over. I JUST GOT HIT BY A DEER (Which I would later find out was actually an Elk.)
           After the initial assessment of every one's health, I started to freak out about the dead carcass on the road, thinking we would have to load it into the bed of the truck somehow, and that it would pull a Tommy Boy and come back to life, go beserk and we would all die!!!   My friend Christian and I got out to inspect the damage and figure out what to do. That wretch truck rushing elk was no where to be found!!!!

Legit Concern Right?

           Cautiously, I drive my friends home and immediately start bawling when I tell my parents why I was late for curfew. Then, I go to bed.

           The next morning I wake up and walk into the Bathroom. My little sister Melissa is in there and the shower is running.  I coyly tell her "Guess what I did last night? I hit a deer."

            Her reaction was not appropriate to the situation.  "Why?"  she asked, sounding completely confused.

           So sarcastically I say "Well because I thought it would be fun. Duh."  

           She didn't say anything else. 

          Later that day, as we are out to lunch, my parents and I begin discussing the previous nights adventure.  My sister interrupts, clearly missing something blurts, "WHAT?! YOU HIT A DEER?!"  

"Melissa, I told you that this morning!" I say, exasperated. 

"OH.  I thought you said 'I had a beer last night.'" 

And that's the story of the time I "had a beer," but actually just hit a deer, that actually was an Elk, that actually hit me. 

That is all.