Encounters of the Awkward Kind.

I think that enough time has passed for me to share these stories...

Oh you thought these were about me? 

You should feel PRE-TTY silly right now because, I never have awkward encounters! 

These stories are about a girl named....Bryanne. 

(Like the boy name....Bryan...but for a girl...the "n" and the "e" are silent....)

Poor Bryanne, the awkward follows her where'er she goes. 

Like this one time, poor unsuspecting Bryanne goes to sit down in Sunday School.  She sits by herself, not knowing many people.  A boy she had previously talked to on one occasions sits in the aisle next to her and says hello.  She says hello back.
That is all.
There is still time before class starts. Boy moves to aisle on same side of Bryanne.  Bryanne ignores, waiting for class to start.  Boy moves a seat closer....and again closer. Bryanne and boy are now sitting next to each other.
 Lesson begins.
All the sudden Bryanne feels a hand on her opposite shoulder. Boy that Bryanne has talked to one time has pulled the arm move.  Bryanne, never having been in this situation before, ever, does not know what to do, and instinctively looks are the perpetrator of personal space confused and maybe a little frightened. Boy moves arm quickly.  Bryanne suddenly has to use the ladies room, until Relief Society. 

You would think that poor Bryanne had suffered enough. No, the awkward is a shameless beast. 

In a class like any other, Bryanne sees a cute boy she has meet before, making his rounds through the class, doing the slap slide bump handshake (you know the one,) with everyone he knows.  Bryanne begins to mentally prepare for the handshake. She thinks "Okay, slap slide bump, I am ready,"  and imagines it something like this:

B & J= Love

 (I know because she told me....) Cute Boy approaches...pulses (maybe just pulse) quicken...the moment is here.....hand is out.....Slap, slide, bump....you got this.....GRABS HAND. 

Bryanne: Uh....your probably were looking for a high five....

Cute boy:....Yeah. 

They awkwardly high five and boy moves on baffled.

Little did they know the awkward would only continue.  It happened again folks....  This time at the fault of the boy, because he was shaking everyone else's hands but when he put his hand out and I....Bryanne, mentally prepared to get this one right, grabbed it,  it was suddenly high five time again!!

Boy makes what Bryanne thought was a joke about how he was looking for a high five. Bryanne awkwardly chuckles....but boy does not laugh. His face is stoic as he moves on.

But the awkward did not go with cute boy...oh no. The awkward has a crush on Bryanne and likes to remain with her in all situations, especially those experiences having to deal with dating and flirting.

Bryanne sadly, had not learned from these experiences and agrees to go on a double blind date (more like a double blind experiment.) The other girl on the date is Bryanne's best friend.  Poor unsuspecting friend, she too would be affected by the awkward's wiley ways! 

The date begins like any other. They go to dinner. The date orders a lot of food....and some how manages to dominate the entire conversation and eat all of it. She muddles through. Her's friends date hardly speaks.  After dinner the participants go to the apartment lounge to play cards.  There is a small bathroom in said lounge....with thin walls.  Bryanne's date excuses himself to use the mentioned facilities.
Unpleasant sounds begin to arise...the two poor girls know not what to do.
So they stand together quietly bitting their lips. The silent mime date clears his throat and begins to play the piano to try to mask the noise.
No such luck.
 They all three sit there...basking in the uncomfortable.
  After what seems like ages, Bryanne's date returns for a game of Phase 10 and is unaware and as talkative as ever.  Three of the four are expected to continue as if none of that happened.

The date could end in no other way than a weird side hug.

There was not second date. 

That poor Bryanne, never had a chance.